So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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