I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think a kid would responsible me up
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize