just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
