Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize