Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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