Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize