Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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