I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
