I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
