I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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