well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
