i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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