oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
