Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
