dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
