It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
True strength comes from lack of pants
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
