what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
