I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
