yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Panties = found
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
