Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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