i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
