well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
