Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
