okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
