Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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