don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
