Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
