youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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