You really coming over, don't trick.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
