Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
