fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
