I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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