I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
