WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
