Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
