bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
