Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
