do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize