At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
