You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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