There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize