He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
