this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
