I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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