i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
