he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
