deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
