even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
