I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
