Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
