What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
