ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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