I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
