found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
