i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
