yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just google imaged poop.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
