We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize