Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
