You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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