Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
