i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
