They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
