he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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