I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
