so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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