Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
